(no subject)

my circulation sucks. my hands are cold and wax-colored. not painfully cold, just definitely not warm.
the left side of everything from my collarbone up hurts - the muscles in my neck hurt more on that side, the swollen tonsil is on that side, my left ear hurts, my jaw aches on that side, and i have a headache confining itself to the left side of my skull. hmph. but i'm feeling vastly better.
had a long talk with chris, it was good. i know a bit more about him now, and he knows more about me. and although he invoked he 2am rule, he didn't need to.

i had dinner! real food! and it stayed where i put it! caitlin invited me to pasta velocce. apparently she'd forgotten i had mono, and just remembered that she hadn't seen me in several days. but it worked. and it was good food. the fact that it wasn't bon food probably helped. and it only cost me $6, too! yeh.

i didn't nap today. watch me relapse tomorrow or something. bad me. ::sigh:: i'm at the point now where i could deal with not having painkillers, it'd just suck and i'd whine a lot. but i'm a wimp and can't deal with pain unless it's associated with fencing, so i've been taking my medicine, although at increasingly longer intervals.
so i've been giving you mucus reports. deal with it. that's what my day consists of.

oh, and a bonus: cause i'm taking vicodin, i don't get aaany cramps at all. this makes me happy.

(no subject)

i slept! lots! went to sleep at 5am, woke up at noon, went back to sleep, woke up at 7pm. time to catch up on my sleep dep. and while my throat still hurts, it doesn't make me wince, and i can swallow several times in a row - it used to take me a while to recover and brace myself again. however, i can feel cramps starting, and because i can't take my regular medicine, i'll have to take another pill.
i have my physics on the bed with me, hopefully that will help me do it. :) lorena never emailed me about the lab, i suppose i'll have to email her... i hope we didn't have a bio lab last week like i thought we didn't (other people disagreed); that would make things simpler.

going to nana's on Friday. she suggested having chris down for dinner on Sunday and him driving me home so i wouldn't have to deal with the trains... but the reason i was dealing with the trains in the first place was so that he wouldn't have to drive me everywhere.

nana

she lives up on a hill, at the end of a loong gravel driveway. past 2 other houses and a field. with a barn in it, and a small garden. it's gorgeous. it was prettier before the lot next to hers got clearcut, though. there were these caves made of bent over and tangled vine maple trees. they were beautiful, moss covered, and so was the ground under them - practically carpeted. and if you scraped the moss off you could see that it was growing out of a layer of ash from the mount saint helens eruption. that was where *i* used to play house.
and then they clear cut it. all gone, nothing left but dirt that turns to mud, and refuse wood. it's brown, now.
but things are growing back, slowly. blackberries and thistles. i love the blackberries. and once we went on a walk when the thistledown was almost ready to fly, and i gathered a bag full and used it to stuff a doll pillow.
there are tons of berries there too - blackberries mostly, but some raspberries, several huckleberry bushes... if you look carefully, you can find thimbleberries. and she has oregon grapes growing like a groundcover.
we had a treehouse, too, two levels, and that was going to be clear cut because it was technically not on nana's land, but the guy who owned the land told them to leave it. i went up in it, though, and it's so sad. you used to be in the middle of the forest. you could look around and see trees. and now, you look around and see the city at the bottom of the hill.
the place is still beautiful, though. if i'm not feeling dead, nana might take us on one of the paths in the preserved bit of the forest, a little ways down the hill.
i've seen so many beautiful things with her and papa (who died several years ago) - kalaloch beach, ruby beach, the ho rainforest... they took us up mount rainier and mount st helens.
we hit the snowline on rainier and i carried a snowball back down with me in my handkerchief. and we saw some sort of large rodent animal, i can't remember what it was. it stood on its hind legs on a rock and looked at us. my memory's blurry because i took a picture of it with a disposable camera that wouldn't focus. it was a cloudy day when we were driving there but not raining. and when we were climbing, we got above the clouds eventually and could look down into what looked like a boiling, foaming sea, with the tops of other mountains rising out of it.

addendum: i hate clearcuts. and my grandfather used to work for weyerhouser. my mother and her sisters still get a check from them, for the stock they own. but my grandfather didn't do any cutting. he was a silvaculturalist - he was the one who helped grow the tiny trees that would be replanted when they got big enough. i remember that when i see mount saint helens... pictures of it after the eruption, everything gray and brown. but it's green now, tree covered again. because weyerhauser replanted. you can tell it was people who did it, because as you look at the forest from above you can see how orderly the trees are arranged... the faint remnants of rows.
i guess i mean to say that nothing's all bad.