(no subject)

cabel ditched on dao of tea, so i ended up going with a bunch of people i barely knew. i had spicy peppermint tea, which was good - it also had cinnamon and allspice in it. came back and did laundry - i've got two loads still in the dryer, but i'll have clean sheets tonight. then i watched buffy with cabel instead of doing homework. and i got a backrub. good stuff.

i think the pms is kicking in late this month... i'm starting to get my martyr complex again - no one likes me, i'll wallow in my misery alone instead of inflicting myself upon others. bleh. and coincidentally i'm starved for physical contact as well. so glad that kicked in after the party, otherwise i would have been either miserable or stupid or both.
i don't want to have to be in charge or in control... i just want things to be right and the way i want them without my having to make them that way.

i should go get my laundry out of the dryer, but i'm too apathetic to move. that's what i get for examining my emotions. at least i got to jump on things to make them break while i was at work.

(no subject)

since i wasn't in class today, they talked about the creative presentations. and also since i wasn't there, everyone's already made groups. what fun.

troupe letter

Dear Principal Lodal,
I am concerned over recent news concerning the Shakespeare Troupe. I was a member of Troupe while I attended Jefferson, and I feel it had a positive contribution to my experience at TJ. I have continued to develop my skills in theater, and I have worked for the past three years as a member of the of the set and light crews for mainstage shows at my college, as well as setting up lights and sound for other official school functions. I would not have been able to do this without the head start I was given by Troupe, nor would I have been as motivated.

I was required to be more responsible because of the way Troupe was run: I couldn't just sit back and let a teacher tell me what to do, I had to figure it out for myself. Troupe productions provided a challenge, and thus a greater sense of accomplishment. Those who are directors, stage managers, or technical directors of Troupe productions learn leadership skills, creativity, and persistence. If plays stopped being Troupe productions and became a particular teacher's production, involving cast members, much of the value would be lost. Student-run productions not only require the students to learn how to interpret, organize, and put on a play, they also provide students with a sense of confidence and competence.

The Troupe members I spent time with even outside of productions were some of my best friends at Jefferson. Troupe was a place where I was welcome; they didn't discriminate against me due to my sexual orientation, religion, or the way I looked. Many of those I knew in Troupe had emotional or family problems, and they gravitated towards Troupe because it was a group of people who would care about them, and provide support that they weren't getting anywhere else. The counselors used to brag that Jefferson had never had a student commit suicide, and I believe that is due in part to the supportive network provided by Troupe.

I've heard rumors that administrators believe there is drug use in Troupe. During my time in Troupe, the group had a reputation for being weird and 'not normal'. I'm sorry to say that the second part at least is true: no one in Troupe did any sort of drug, nor did they drink, unlike many other 'normal' students that I could mention. I would hope that Troupe's abstinence becomes the norm.

I've also heard rumors that Troupe's physicality is frowned upon. I am disappointed. One of the byproducts of that physicality was a positive body image. While other female students slathered on makeup and went on unnecessary diets to make themselves attractive and maintain their popularity, appearance wasn't critiqued in Troupe. As a result, most Troupe members were much more comfortable with themselves than is common for teenagers. I attribute my current self-confidence partly to this phenomenon. In an environment where physical contact is minimized and frowned upon, and yet we realize that those who are hugged frequently are happier and healthier than those who aren't, Troupe is a welcome change.

TJ was my haven when I was a teenager, and Troupe was even more a safe place for me. It provided a group of people who cared about me, a place where I belonged, and a sense of responsibility and competence. I am afraid of what would happen to current Troupe members, and what potential would be wasted, if that haven was removed.

Sincerely,
Joanna Staebler-Kimmel