The Slang of Sex
by Joanna Staebler, copyright 2000
Walt Whitman, in all his poetry, celebrates the beauty of the human body not just in an aesthetic sense but sexually as well. His respect for the body and sex was very straightforward, as an extension of nature. In our society today, however, sex and the way it's described is anything but straightforward. We are taught not to talk about sex and our bodies, and when we do, it generally makes us uncomfortable, and we only speak about it indirectly.
>>Anti-language: A collection of words and phrases used to exclude outsiders from a particular group and to disguise the group's activities.
An anti-society is set up within an existing society as a conscious alternative. Its members have usually been rejected by society in some way, such as by being labelled as a deviant. These anti-societies develop anti-language, which uses the language of the dominant society, but re-lexicalizes or redefines words that relate to the anti-society's areas of interest. These two concepts are more commonly recognized as subcultures and slang.
American teenagers and to some extent young adults make up one of the most prominent subcultures, and teen slang is part of what defines a decade, whether it's valley-speak of the 80's or hippie slang. The teen subculture is based around rebelling against authority in the form of parents, teachers, and government. One of the most important areas of life to teen subculture, and thus one that a lot of slang is devoted to, is sex.
>>"Hello, I have a question and a comment. I'm concerned that you're using Romeo and Juliet to promote premarital sex and corrupt our children's values. I'm very much against sex education, and I'm wondering what your views on the matter are."
"Caller? I can assure you that the Reduced Shakespeare Company believes in traditional family values, and that sex education does not belong in schools or on the airwaves."
"That's a relief. I was worried that this episode might go a little too far in its sexual content."
"No, we believe in the old ways: that children should learn about sex on the streets and in back alleys, not in a cold clinical way from their parents or teachers. Yes, I think we need to keep a healthy mystique about sex, and the best way to do that is through paranoia, half-truths, and misinformation."
"I couldn't agree more. Let's keep sex in the gutter where it belongs!"
"Thanks for the call."
-The Reduced Shakespeare Company radio show
Most people in America are encouraged not to talk about sex. Children who are learning to talk are taught to say "wee-wee" not penis. While part of this may be because it's easier to say, most of the reasoning behind it is because our culture frowns on talking about sex and genitalia in public, or even at all. Teenagers rebel against this rule by making up slang to substitute for the clinical terms, so those outside of their subcultures (and thus abiding by the rules that teens are disregarding) can't tell that the rules are being broken.
>>"Hey, I heard you, like, played a game last night. How'd your turn at bat go?"
"I hit a triple. I was so smooth, man, you wouldn't believe it. It was awesome!"
"Seriously, dude, go for the home run next time!"
The teen subculture has become rather mainstream, though, due to the fact that everyone is a teen at some point, and if they live through it, they stop being a teen. Slang changes constantly, due to rotating membership in the subculture, but this means that some slang terms also become mainstream. Most people use slang to talk about sex because technical terms feel too cold and clinical. Slang allows the user to joke about the sex, which makes it easier to talk about. However, to lots of people, slang is too crude to use in a serious discussion, and if the only other alternative are technical terms, they'd rather just not talk about sex at all.
While slang may seem like a way to get around the taboos of society, it also reinforces some of the problems with our society. Most of the language we use to describe sexual acts is violent or has violent connotations: beat off, whack off, nail, plow. Also, women are either passive or objectified - they are the ones being plowed, and while "cunt" is a slang term for vagina, it is also used to refer to an unpleasant woman.
Women's sexuality in general is referred to in degrading terms. They are said to be on the rag when it's "that" time of month, and even when they're not menstruating, their vaginas have a fishy odor. Women who don't like sex are frigid ice queens, and those who do like sex are sluts, whores, hos, skanky, and easy - implying that it's a man's job to get the sex, and women make it easier or more difficult. A man who succeeds in getting sex is a stud or a player.
Slang has both good and bad results - it's a way for people to talk about sex rather than keeping it a dirty secret, thus undermining the unhealthy obsession our society has about sex as taboo. However, it also reinforces the detrimental aspects of patriarchy, by describing men as having an active, controlling role in sex, and casting women as passive and powerless. Perhaps most of the slang about sex is crude and demeaning, but at least there are words to talk about sex, and if people talk about sex, perhaps it won't continue to be thought of in such a negative light.