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looks like i managed to check out the only non-academic books the library has that interest me. bah. stupid library.

i hate probability. i've studied it before, i *know* there's an easy way to do it that would take me as much time as it takes me to type the numbers into my calculator, but do i remember which numbers go where? no. it's incredibly easy and doing it the long way cause i can't remember the fast way infuriates me. but i'm done now, i think i did okay. and now back home to mope over my lack of new books to read. maybe i'll pester the person at the reference desk first. ::sigh::

(no subject)

they played melanie doane in the buffy rerun. willow and tara dancing (buffy and riley didn't dance at arms' length, why do willow and tara have to?) to 'i can't take my eyes off you.' great song. too bad it's about her tv. ::grin:: but they only played chorus and vamp and stuff like that, so it worked. they were okay episodes, buffy and angel... i wanted to see more of drusilla going mad, though. that might have been done in another episode i missed, i think.

downloaded a bunch of pdq bach. *finally* found rossini's cat duet, i've been looking for it since last fall.

bah, i have to go to the bio lab tomorrow. ::sigh:: but then i go to nana's on Friday, and chris's on Saturday. and i get to see his kitty! yay cats.

sitting alone on my bed in my room, replying to the words on my screen and hoping there's a real person at the other end somewhere....

all that new music, and i'm only listening to things without words. some of the chanticleer's going in, in their soaring voices the latin only registers as more sound. but just stuff i can drift to. maintaining my dislocation. i tend to wallow like that.

(no subject)

i say words, but somehow they seem to have separated into their component parts... syllables, which are just letters, which are just patterns of pixels on my screen... little squiggles of black. how are they supposed to convey meaning? how do i use these? i'm in a library and i can't read... or i have vast insights and can't speak, but it wouldn't matter if i could because no one else speaks my language. and that doesn't matter either, because they aren't listening anyway.

or maybe i don't have anything to say at all. maybe...

(no subject)

heh. there are people on the other end. it's good, being provoked into a smile. that makes everything better. thanks, chris.