(no subject)

"I'd like to be able to fit myself in a category. Just so I have a sense of belonging somewhere. I want to 'fit in', if that's possible."
-lilly

she meant it more in the sense of trying to find people to be like so they'd accept her (and then wrote about how she was her and happy about it and people could just deal), but it struck me anyway. i'm not trying to be like anyone; i'm happy with who i am. but it means i *don't* fit in a category or have a sense of belonging. :S

(no subject)

"I lost another friend not long ago as well, to a different kind of illness, and since she knew her time was ending she actually invited some friends to a goodbye party. It was amazing, and though the brain cancer she struggled with had slurred her speech and jumbled some of her words, her smile was as radiant as ever and the warmth and beneficence of that group of people was so palpable in that little house that you could
almost drink it.

It's such an honor to be invited to walk someone to the door when they are leaving, and standing close to it I almost get the impression that I can catch a glimpse through. Maybe it's not so surprising that I felt almost exactly the same way when I was invited to be on the small welcoming committee for a child tasting its first few moments here. I was overwhelmed and grateful and completely awed by the huge truth and mystery of life, of which death is a part. I even felt a deep grief in that beautiful birth moment, and I don't understand exactly why, though I have some half-formed ideas."
-david lamotte

another reminder of why i like this guy and his music so much. the christian view he has of life no longer appeals to me, and yet his words, whether spoken, sung, or written, always have such truth and insight.

(no subject)

it's times like these when i'm glad i read so much scifi and fantasy during my formative years. my brain would really hurt if i hadn't. we talked about the fact that things behave differently depending on whether or not you're observing them. and the two theories, that things exist in a sort of hazy all-possibilities way until you observe them, or that there are many universes with all possibilities, and the act of observing places you in one of them. and of course we mentioned schrödinger the cat hater. :)

i got 'martial arts of renaissance europe' on interlibrary loan. go me.

i mentioned hoping that i wasn't the cause of his sadness... and he said, 'i'll try to be more readable in the future.'
yes! someone who gets it! it just gets so frustrating when people i care about, when i mention something like the above, say, 'i'll try not to bother you with things like that in the future.' i think this will make any problems at least slightly easier to deal with.

it's friday. i get to nap until dinner. and i swear there was something else i wanted to say. oh, well.